Compassion Fatigue Part 1

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue develops over time.  The added stressors of this pandemic makes the topic an even more important one as it certainly adds a new dimension to stress loads.

Compassion fatigue is a natural and inevitable result of caring for others when we as caregivers have not cared for our own needs. With our energy slowly depleting, our ability to feel and care for others isn’t there.  The abilities we once had, to meet needs, to care for others, those that we once seemed to flow in so freely may seem distant and inaccessible. It is not too late to recover but it will take some real action steps. 

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue

A critical step to turning things around is being able to identify it when compassion fatigue starts happening.

Mother Teresa, who loved Jesus and served Him every day of her life by caring for the destitute, experienced compassion fatigue.  It is not a character flaw.  It is a real thing. And even Mother Teresa placed times of sabbatical so the sisters serving under her did not become overwhelmed.

These are some of the ways that we can recognize compassion fatigue in ourselves.

Spoons

So what do we do when we ourselves need to regulate and we need our kids to regulate in the same household? 

The term “spoons” used to explain exhaustion came from Christine Miserandino  when she was describing what its like to live with lupus to her friend. 

She used spoons as a visual aid and handed 12 of them to her friend and asked her friend to describe the events of a typical day using the spoons as a unit of energy that had to be rationed in order to avoid running out. 

She explained that she might be able to exceed her 12 spoons in one day but that she couldn’t do it without “borrowing” from the future, meaning there may not be 12 spoons available the next day.

Do you feel like you are using more spoons in a day than you can afford?

And what about when there are no more spoons?

It leads us into a new perspective on what self care really is…

In this light, self care becomes care for others  -so it is not frivolous or luxurious, it is a necessity.

Check in tomorrow for more on preventing compassion fatigue.